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Friday, May 28, 2010


First of all, I am so far behind on my blog reading that I feel horrible! I will catch up this weekend! Secondly, I've wanted to write every night this week, but I've been too damn tired. I've been falling asleep on the couch really early. It's just been a crazy week. I quit work a little early today because my back is absolutely killing me. I'm posting from my iPhone...too tired to go upstairs and get my computer!

We met with the OB on Monday and I loved him. He seems really great. He has a small practice, and seems very hands on, which I really liked. He took almost an hour out of his day to do a meet and greet with me, he's going to send me to a specialist for my 18 week ultrasound which is great and he's wants to see me every two weeks instead of once a month. I felt comfortable there which is a big deal to me, too. Desicion made!

I have my 8 week ultrasound on Tuesday. I can't wait to see him/her. The nausea has gotten worse. I've actually thrown up a few times now. And it's pretty constaant...even when I drink water! (I am NOT complaining! Just sharing! Symptoms are good!) With Wyatt it was mostly dry heaving. Hopefully it'll ease up when Dr. B takes me off the Crinone on Tuesday.

My official due date is 1/10/2011. C and I actually stopped at Babies R' Us the other day so I could show him some stuff. He was amazed at how much everything cost! Too funny, but I guess he really doesn't have a baseline....he NEVER shops for anything other than tools!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Checking In

I know I've been MIA, but I've had a pretty busy week. I met my nephew on Tuesday. He is absolutely adorable. He looks just like my sister, except for his mouth which comes from his daddy. Today I went to my friend J's baby shower. It was a nice time.

I have a "meet and greet" with an OB who seems to be very highly recommended, tomorrow. I called his office last week and explained my whole situation. They were happy to set up an initial meeting so that we can find out if this will be a good fit for us. The receptionist even seemed to understand everything I was talking about, like the MTHFR and the Lovenox. He also will need to work with a maternal-fetal medical specialist, so I want an OB who's familiar with doing that. One thing that I have taken from everything that I've been through is that I now ask everything that I want to, and I won't hesitate!

I'll update about about it tomorrow.....

Monday, May 17, 2010


The ultrasound went awesome! We have one beautiful baby in there, measuring at exactly 6 weeks (perfect!!) with a heart beating away!!!! Yay!!! The heart rate is just above 100, which Dr. B says is great. Of course I looked it up, normal for 6 weeks is 90-110, so we're right on.

He kept me on the Crinone and I'm going back on June 1st for my 8 week ultrasound. I'm pretty sure he'll keep me until 10 weeks, which is their limit. I'm actually very nervous about picking an OB. The one I used with Wyatt was nice and all, and that is who Dr. B recommends, but I just don't know if I can do it. I was in their ultrasound room when I found out we'd lost Wyatt. They walked me over to the hospital. So many bad memories. On the other hand, we won't be alone, there will have to be a fetal/maternal specialist because I'm on the Lovenox. I have a feeling that this OB will work with me and pretty much give me what I need. I'm thinking about calling over there and seeing if he'll call me back. We saw him after we lost Wyatt and he was really great with us, he did say that if I went to him when we got pregnant again he would do everything he could to help me through this.

On another sister, JR, gave birth to my nephew this morning at 1:04am....I can't wait to meet him! I'm heading up there tomorrow morning. Apparently he has more hair than any baby ever! lol

Thursday, May 13, 2010


So, I'm sure everything is alright. I still have all my symptoms, but I am scared to death. I look every time I wipe (sorry, TMI!) not that I've ever had a miscarriage like that because I haven't. I was scared in the beginning with Wyatt, too, but this is even worse.

I am trying to remember that every little pain doesn't mean something is wrong. I definitely have what I would describe as as achy abdomen. It's off and on, and it seems to be worse if I've had a long day on my feet. Like I've said before it feels like I've done too many sit-ups. I had it with Wyatt, too. This is normal, right? I get so nervous.

I cannot wait for my ultrasound on Monday. Once I see that (those) little heartbeat(s), I will feel so much better. The waiting is like torture. I think your uterus should come with a window! I NEED to see what's up in there!

So, for now, I'm thinking good thoughts and praying that the weekend flies by....

Saturday, May 8, 2010

6 Months

Today is Wyatt's 6 month birthday. Happy Birthday beautiful boy. We miss you so much.

I definitely had a hard time last night. C had taken a 1/2 day and gone to lunch with a friend and then when I finally called him at around 6:30 (because he still wasn't home) it seemed like he was having a lot of fun and not ready to come home yet. I kind of freaked out, because he's been helping me with my Loven.ox shots and I hadn't done it on my own yet. I've given myself plenty of shots, but I was really nervous about giving this one. It went fine. I actually feel better about everything now, because it's not frightening at all! I think I did a damn good job!

I'm feeling nauseous after I eat pretty much anything, which is fine with me, it's like a little bit of reassurance. The boobs are also pretty sore, and I've been getting heartburn. I have some aching in my lower abdomen off and on, it's not cramping, almost like a feeling you'd get after working out too much, just lower down. I had the same thing with Wyatt, so I hope this is a good sign. We love you HIP baby (ies)!!! (HIP, because the embryos were graded HIP (High Implantation Probability).)

Thursday, May 6, 2010


It didn't double, it didn't triple, it more than quadrupled!! 556!! I said to C this morning, I hope it's near 600...and I was shocked to hear it is. My little Loven.ox baby (ies???) is (are) doing awesome! I knew the first number was great, but I found myself holding my breath this morning as I walked int the Quest. And then after 1:00 I started looking at the time every few minutes.

My ultrasound is scheduled for 9:45am on Monday the 17th. I can't wait.

I started my Loven.ox on Monday night and so far no bruises. C has been giving me the shots and he is seriously a pro. I just have a speck where I was pricked which isn't so bad, because then you can see where yesterday's shot was. They are semi painful, but I really don't care! It's a welcome to me in 8 months, I may be over it then. The cost of the Loven.ox is a whole other story. My insurance, which is an expensive plan, has crappy prescription coverage. I had to write what I would basically term a begging letter to the insurance company to switch to another plan that has better coverage. We'll see, the woman said it takes a few weeks to hear from them.

As far as it goes with my sister, JA, after my initial freak out, I realized that it will be nice to have a niece or nephew that is so close to my child's age. And there really is nothing about her pregnancy that will take away from me. She is already having a hard time, because our youngest sister, A, told her she was crazy to have a child right now, and she told her father-in-law who said "That's nice.". Her and my brother-in-law have a son, who's 7. She got pregnant with him unexpectedly at 21 and they've definitely had their struggles as a family over the past seven years. She seemed really upset that no one seems excited for her. She is an amazing mom, and even though they weren't planning this, and maybe right now isn't the best time financially, I know that she really wants this baby and is really excited. We have different moms, but the same dad. Our dad passed away 16 years ago, he was awesome, her mother on the other hand is not what I'd call a good mom. She has hardly any involvement with with my nephew, and I can only imagine what her response will be to this. I am blessed with a mom who is one of my best friends. I told her I'm excited for her.

I am now going to rest before making dinner, I'm exhausted! I forgot how tired I get in the beginning!

Monday, May 3, 2010


My beta was 132! Yahoo!!! They look for between 50-100 (I knew this, but the nurse likes to ramble on), so this is a good, strong number. They don't usually test again, if you're over 100, but the nurse knows me and immediately said "You know you don't need to, but if you want to, you can test again on Thursday." Obviously, I'll be testing again on Thursday! She kept reminding me that I was only retesting because I wanted to, not because I needed to. Also, I called to book my first ultrasound for May 17-ish...I'm waiting to hear back....

They are calling in my Love.nox to a local pharmacy which is great. On another note...My sister, JA, the one who's been working for me, who's one of the few people who knew, called me after I texted her with the results and dropped what I felt was a bombshell....she's pregnant?!?!? What? About 6 weeks, she just went to the Dr. this morning. I'm happy for her, really I am, but I wanted to be pregnant by myself. What the fuck is it with my sisters??? I started to have a nervous breakdown when she told me. What if something happens to this pregnancy? This makes it all so much worse! And we're due 2 weeks apart?!?!? I'm not usually a complainer, but I swear to you, I am never in the's never just my time. Never.

With that out of the way, C and I are elated that I'm pregnant. OVER THE MOON. This baby (babies) is (are) going to be the most loved little one(s) ever. We're going to go out to dinner to celebrate.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Wyatt & International Babylost Mother's Day

I have been consumed with the fact that tomorrow is my beta, but I've also been thinking a ton about Wyatt today. I miss him a lot today. His six month birthday is next Saturday, and I've been trying to come up with something for us to do to honor him.

As I know most of you know, today is International Babylost Mother's Day.  I want to send my love to all the babylost Mommies out there. I am so saddened by the fact that there are so many of us, but I couldn't have made it through this without this community. Thank you...

Beta Tomorrow....Cautiously Optimistic

So, tomorrow is the day. It seems like it was forever ago that it was the Sunday before the retrieval. FOREVER ago. And here I am, the Sunday before the Beta. I broke down Friday night and took a HPT, I was loosing my mind. Although it was faintly positive, I was cautious, and didn't even tell C, because I haven't been testing all along like so many of you do and I didn't know if the trigger was totally out of my system. BUT...I got a darker line Saturday morning, and then I did tell C. It wouldn't be getting darker if it wasn't real! And this morning a little darker still. No mistaking it. If I were to be normal, which, I'm clearly NOT, then I would not be questioning whether or not I was pregnant at all. I would be happy. Of course I went out to get a digital to make sure it's on the case, too. It is!!! Yahoo!

Sooo.....I'm expecting good news tomorrow. Fingers still crossed. Like I said if I were normal....but I'm not!