6 Months

Today is Wyatt's 6 month birthday. Happy Birthday beautiful boy. We miss you so much.

I definitely had a hard time last night. C had taken a 1/2 day and gone to lunch with a friend and then when I finally called him at around 6:30 (because he still wasn't home) it seemed like he was having a lot of fun and not ready to come home yet. I kind of freaked out, because he's been helping me with my Loven.ox shots and I hadn't done it on my own yet. I've given myself plenty of shots, but I was really nervous about giving this one. It went fine. I actually feel better about everything now, because it's not frightening at all! I think I did a damn good job!

I'm feeling nauseous after I eat pretty much anything, which is fine with me, it's like a little bit of reassurance. The boobs are also pretty sore, and I've been getting heartburn. I have some aching in my lower abdomen off and on, it's not cramping, almost like a feeling you'd get after working out too much, just lower down. I had the same thing with Wyatt, so I hope this is a good sign. We love you HIP baby (ies)!!! (HIP, because the embryos were graded HIP (High Implantation Probability).)

•556•

It didn't double, it didn't triple, it more than quadrupled!! 556!! I said to C this morning, I hope it's near 600...and I was shocked to hear it is. My little Loven.ox baby (ies???) is (are) doing awesome! I knew the first number was great, but I found myself holding my breath this morning as I walked int the Quest. And then after 1:00 I started looking at the time every few minutes.

My ultrasound is scheduled for 9:45am on Monday the 17th. I can't wait.

I started my Loven.ox on Monday night and so far no bruises. C has been giving me the shots and he is seriously a pro. I just have a speck where I was pricked which isn't so bad, because then you can see where yesterday's shot was. They are semi painful, but I really don't care! It's a welcome pain....talk to me in 8 months, I may be over it then. The cost of the Loven.ox is a whole other story. My insurance, which is an expensive plan, has crappy prescription coverage. I had to write what I would basically term a begging letter to the insurance company to switch to another plan that has better coverage. We'll see, the woman said it takes a few weeks to hear from them.

As far as it goes with my sister, JA, after my initial freak out, I realized that it will be nice to have a niece or nephew that is so close to my child's age. And there really is nothing about her pregnancy that will take away from me. She is already having a hard time, because our youngest sister, A, told her she was crazy to have a child right now, and she told her father-in-law who said "That's nice.". Her and my brother-in-law have a son, who's 7. She got pregnant with him unexpectedly at 21 and they've definitely had their struggles as a family over the past seven years. She seemed really upset that no one seems excited for her. She is an amazing mom, and even though they weren't planning this, and maybe right now isn't the best time financially, I know that she really wants this baby and is really excited. We have different moms, but the same dad. Our dad passed away 16 years ago, he was awesome, her mother on the other hand is not what I'd call a good mom. She has hardly any involvement with with my nephew, and I can only imagine what her response will be to this. I am blessed with a mom who is one of my best friends. I told her I'm excited for her.

I am now going to rest before making dinner, I'm exhausted! I forgot how tired I get in the beginning!

•132•

My beta was 132! Yahoo!!! They look for between 50-100 (I knew this, but the nurse likes to ramble on), so this is a good, strong number. They don't usually test again, if you're over 100, but the nurse knows me and immediately said "You know you don't need to, but if you want to, you can test again on Thursday." Obviously, I'll be testing again on Thursday! She kept reminding me that I was only retesting because I wanted to, not because I needed to. Also, I called to book my first ultrasound for May 17-ish...I'm waiting to hear back....

They are calling in my Love.nox to a local pharmacy which is great. On another note...My sister, JA, the one who's been working for me, who's one of the few people who knew, called me after I texted her with the results and dropped what I felt was a bombshell....she's pregnant?!?!? What? About 6 weeks, she just went to the Dr. this morning. I'm happy for her, really I am, but I wanted to be pregnant by myself. What the fuck is it with my sisters??? I started to have a nervous breakdown when she told me. What if something happens to this pregnancy? This makes it all so much worse! And we're due 2 weeks apart?!?!? I'm not usually a complainer, but I swear to you, I am never in the spotlight...it's never just my time. Never.

With that out of the way, C and I are elated that I'm pregnant. OVER THE MOON. This baby (babies) is (are) going to be the most loved little one(s) ever. We're going to go out to dinner to celebrate.

Beta Tomorrow....Cautiously Optimistic

So, tomorrow is the day. It seems like it was forever ago that it was the Sunday before the retrieval. FOREVER ago. And here I am, the Sunday before the Beta. I broke down Friday night and took a HPT, I was loosing my mind. Although it was faintly positive, I was cautious, and didn't even tell C, because I haven't been testing all along like so many of you do and I didn't know if the trigger was totally out of my system. BUT...I got a darker line Saturday morning, and then I did tell C. It wouldn't be getting darker if it wasn't real! And this morning a little darker still. No mistaking it. If I were to be normal, which, I'm clearly NOT, then I would not be questioning whether or not I was pregnant at all. I would be happy. Of course I went out to get a digital to make sure it's on the case, too. It is!!! Yahoo!

Sooo.....I'm expecting good news tomorrow. Fingers still crossed. Like I said if I were normal....but I'm not!