90 Days to go!!!

Hi! I haven't been a very good blogger lately. Every time I sit down to write, I can't. I think I've been scared. Getting through these past two weeks or so has been hard. I worry about everything anyway, but passing the time in my pregnancy when I lost Wyatt (25 weeks 4 days) and the time when he was born (25 weeks 6 days), was huge for me. Emotionally, I have found myself missing Wyatt more and more. I get sad that he never made it to this point, I see his beautiful little face and I wonder Why??? Why did that have to happen to him. Please don't misunderstand, I am so excited about Jackson, but it's hard for me to feel joy without sadness.

At 25 weeks 3 days, which was an incredibly scary day for me regardless, I had a really scary incident. It was really hot, 80's, and humid. C and I went to take a look at the renovations on our building that were supposed to be finished. We were meeting the new tenant so we could give him his key. It was horrible. The job was not at all finished, the contractor had been lying, and he and C started arguing about EVERYTHING!!! Meanwhile, I started having contractions, they weren't super painful,but they were pretty frequent. It was really hot in there because there was no air and I realized I must be dehydrated. I went to the store we rent one of the downstairs spaces to and bought three waters and a juice and started drinking them quickly. I didn't want to alarm C, so I kept checking on them, and throwing in my two cents, or telling them to stop yelling and then I would duck out. Between the stress and the dehydration, I had about 8 contractions in an hour and a half. Finally I went a half an hour without one, we semi-resolved things and we left. I told C about the contractions and called the on call OB. By the time I heard back from the OB on call (it wasn't my Doctor), I had finally eaten (It was almost 10:00pm), and I'd only had two contractions in the forty five minutes. He told me to rest and keep drinking the water. I ended up fine, but I was so panicked that something bad was going to happen, that 25 weeks 4 days would be another horrible day. I made it through. Even though today is 27 weeks 1 day, I know that every day I'm still going to be scared. Every day, I miss Wyatt, everyday I breathe a sigh of relief when the day is over and I'm one more day closer to holding baby Jackson.

We had an ultrasound today and he looks great. 2 lbs 4 oz, and no longer breech!!! I keep telling him it won't be that much longer! C took me out for a fabulous dinner tonight and we had a really nice time just talking about non work related stuff, which we never really seem to do anymore. It was wonderful.


My mom and my sister, JR, are planning my baby shower for November 13th and I'm really excited. I can't wait. I'm going to leave you guys with a picture of my nephew, T. He's my sister JR's baby and he's precious. He was born May 17, 2010....

Baby T...My mom always says he looks like a burrito swaddled