I got in touch with the the IVF Nurse first thing this morning, it's day 3 of AF!!! Finally! So, I had the day 3 blood tests this morning, I have a saline infused sonogram on Monday the 4th, and C and I have a follow-up appointment with the RE to go over everything on the 6th. By then my 2nd protein S test should be back. I definitely am positive for the MTHFR mutation, homozygous. Which as I understand it means I have two mutated genes. After my appointment I will be completely clear on what the plan will be for this next pregnancy. I know it's probably wishing on a star, but there's a small part of me that's holding out hope he'll let us start the lupron on day 21 of this cycle, not likely, but you never know.
I feel like we're headed towards something now, instead of just an indefinite wait. I went into the baby section at Marshalls today and I was able to look at the baby clothes with a smile instead of cringing away from them. My sister is pregnant, and expecting a boy in May, and I wanted to get a few things for her. It's so hard for me to think of my nephew without thinking about baby Wyatt. I'm really happy for her, but it's hard for me to have joy without feeling an immense loss. Then I start with the whys and there are no answers on that front.
When I got home I went and looked at the clothes I'd bought for Wyatt. I should have been 33 weeks today, he would have almost been here. I miss him so much. I've decided to use another room for the nursery when we get pregnant again. I think that it will help to make it a different experience. A new experience.