Well, today is the last day of 2009. I can't say that I'm in any way sad to see it go. I just keep telling myself that 2010 will be a better year. I had a rough morning. First thing, I saw on Facebook that another acquaintance is pregnant!! I mean seriously WTF?! All the feelings that I had come to terms with as of yesterday came flooding back. Maybe because I was taken completely off guard. This happens to be someone who I specifically asked about having kids and I got the impression that it wasn't something she was into, at all!!! And this caused me to have a fight with C. I crawled back into bed with him and told him, and somehow we started playing the blame game. I won't recount the exact details of our argument, but he's one of those people that becomes very defensive whenever he feels bad about something. Like if he asks me for help with a project and it takes longer than he thought it would, even if I'm not showing any signs of being upset, he will start to be a jerk to compensate for his feeling bad about making me work so hard. Obviously I know this, I just wrote about it, but still I always get hurt when he says mean things to me. I know he doesn't mean them, and he will inevitably apologize, but I never forget the things he says, and in the moment, I react, I can't help it!
So like I was saying...good-bye 2009! May 2010 be a great year. May it bring us a beautiful baby, or babies...May it bring my many pregnant friends happy, healthy babies, may it bring my mom a happier relationship, may it bring my grandmother better health, may it bring C some peace with his decisions in life...And may all those that I love stay safe and healthy...May 2010 be a great year for us all...Peace