Not Sleeping

Good Morning! I know, It's not that early (6:50am) BUT it is Saturday and I was up at 5:30am...when I bolted up in horror that I'd forgotten my Love.nox shot last night!  I usually take it around 8:00pm or so. I don't know what happened last night, I had thrown up from a late lunch (sorry, TMI) so we ate a late dinner and I guess I just got off schedule. After reading around a bit, I decided to start taking the shot in the morning. I took it today at 6:00am and I'll move it to 7:00am tomorrow. I think that's better for me. There are too many times at night where if we're going somewhere, or something, I have to take it late or early. I of course freaked out. Crying, trying not to hyperventilate, and C somehow thought I was blaming him and was not very comforting at all! He just didn't want the blame, but I wasn't blaming him, I was just freaking out, and needed some support.

The past few days have been a little off, because on Thursday evening Mema (my grandmother) passed away. I have been feeling off emotionally, and physically, I'm exhausted from not sleeping for a couple of nights. I keep waking up finding it hard to believe that when I go to her house she won't be there, that I can't call her. As I said in my post when she first went in to the hospital, she was a very important part of my life. She was my last living grandparent and my father's mother. Adding this new loss to my list, brings up a lot of pain from the previous losses in my life. Her wake a funeral will be next weekend and I intend to speak at the funeral. I miss her, and I am deeply saddened that my kids will never meet her. I'll leave you with some words of wisdom from Mema "Rain makes you grow!" (told to 6 of us grand kids to keep us playing outside even if it was raining!)