Lupron...Day 1

So today was Lupron shot # 1 of my third fresh IVF cycle. This is it. I can feel it. I'm thinking a lot about my Wyatt and missing him a lot today. The beginning of this cycle is bittersweet. I'm glad that we are here and trying again, but goddamn it, it reminds me that Wyatt would have been about 6 weeks or so old.

A lot of people seem to talk about their belief that god has a plan. I am a very spiritual person, although I am not involved in organized religion. I guess,  I believe more than ever that there is a plan for all of us. A complicated, tangled plan, that in pieces doesn't seem to make sense to me. I know that everything I've been through in my life has made me who I am, and I know that I will be an amazing mom.

On a completely different topic, my friend, L, the crazy one who I am not speaking to and has decided that she will be best friends with my grandmother, is at it again! She took my grandmother shopping for my sister, JR's, baby shower! I had told my grandmother I'd be happy to take her, or we could go online and order something from the registry. Then somehow she went with L, and called me and told me not to be upset that she went with L. I hate to say this, but my grandmother can be so manipulative! She knows this is the one person I have ever asked her not to involve in our lives. So, I got an email from L today going on and on about how she is so glad to have my grandmother in her life. And saying she's the grandmother she never had. Have I mentioned that they had NEVER spent ANY time together alone before L and I had our disagreement?!? I cried and fought with my grandmother when she told me about the shopping, but the next conversation, she told me she is going to do what she wants. What to do?