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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Lupron...Day 1

So today was Lupron shot # 1 of my third fresh IVF cycle. This is it. I can feel it. I'm thinking a lot about my Wyatt and missing him a lot today. The beginning of this cycle is bittersweet. I'm glad that we are here and trying again, but goddamn it, it reminds me that Wyatt would have been about 6 weeks or so old.

A lot of people seem to talk about their belief that god has a plan. I am a very spiritual person, although I am not involved in organized religion. I guess,  I believe more than ever that there is a plan for all of us. A complicated, tangled plan, that in pieces doesn't seem to make sense to me. I know that everything I've been through in my life has made me who I am, and I know that I will be an amazing mom.

On a completely different topic, my friend, L, the crazy one who I am not speaking to and has decided that she will be best friends with my grandmother, is at it again! She took my grandmother shopping for my sister, JR's, baby shower! I had told my grandmother I'd be happy to take her, or we could go online and order something from the registry. Then somehow she went with L, and called me and told me not to be upset that she went with L. I hate to say this, but my grandmother can be so manipulative! She knows this is the one person I have ever asked her not to involve in our lives. So, I got an email from L today going on and on about how she is so glad to have my grandmother in her life. And saying she's the grandmother she never had. Have I mentioned that they had NEVER spent ANY time together alone before L and I had our disagreement?!? I cried and fought with my grandmother when she told me about the shopping, but the next conversation, she told me she is going to do what she wants. What to do?


  1. I am useless for advice on your grandmother, but I agree that she is not being very nice.

    Hooray for the new cycle! I am keeping you in my thoughts!!!

  2. Oh, hon. I am so sorry. There really isn't even a "right" thing for you to do here, either - it's going to make you feel bad, no matter what. You don't deserve to be put in that situation. Hugs.

    So excited about the Lupron! And thinking of your angel Wyatt - I am sending love to you all.

  3. Thanks! I'm struggling with how to handle this, so we'll see.

  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. Huge Hugs. I wish you all the best of luck with this new fresh IVF cycle.

    ICLW #33

  5. *huge hugs* I would be so frustrated in your shoes so I can imagine how you feel. I don't think there really is a right thing to do. I can't imagine that your grandmother is trying to hurt you deliberately. Maybe being close to your grandmother is your friend's way of keeping a piece of you? *Hugs*