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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Strength

It continues to amaze me how many people in my everyday life have experienced a stillbirth, or a late miscarriage themselves or know someone who has.

There are still some people that we haven't seen since we lost Wyatt, and C ran into quite a few of them today. He went to check on a property we own and the neighbor came by. She had been so happy that I was pregnant. The property that he was checking was where we lived before our house now, we're renovating it so we can rent it. It's where C lived when I met him and I had really bonded with this neighbor. I've been avoiding her. I check the property at times when I know that she's at work so I won't run into her and if I see she's home, I won't stop. I just couldn't handle telling her, so she came over to C while he was there and of course asked if I'd had the baby. He had to tell her. He said she started shaking and almost fell over. It turns out her son lost his first baby, too. She said it took her son three years to get over it. People never talk about dead babies, they just don't. I understand. I talk about my loss with those who know about it but not with those who don't or the people that are new in my life. It makes sense. I find it so sad that there are so many people that have been through this. And then there's another part of me that draws strength from knowing that so many others have been here and survived.

So, I'm trying to look forward to this upcoming cycle. Only 10 days till I start my Lupron. The third time's a charm....right? 

4 comments:

  1. I had never known before Maddie was born that both of my grandpa's sisters had second-trimester losses. You're right, we just don't talk about these things - but it's important that we do. Hugs to you.

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  2. I know exactly what you mean - you're right. People really don't talk about it, because they can't/don't understand. It's so hard to find people who "get it" - seems like such a slim sliver of the population. I guess that's what the blog-o-sphere is good for. :-)
    Best of luck on your upcoming Lupron journey.

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  3. Just in my close family there are numerous people, and you're right, that is what this blog-o-sphere is for.I don't know what I'd do without it!

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