So much to say..MTHFR and such things...

I keep meaning to sit down and write and then the time gets away from me.

Let me start by saying that yet another friend of mine had a miscarriage this week! Pregnant person #3... I am so sorry for her and her husband! She is one of the strongest must positive people I know, so already through her texts and Emails I can see that she will get through this and be stronger and will try again and succeed. With all that said, I see myself as a very similar person to her...well, maybe not quite as positive, but I try...and I HATED it when people pointed out how strong I was after Wyatt's loss. It was like they were saying that was why it had happened to me, because I could recover and endure it! I don't mean that about her at all. NO ONE deserves this pain! NO ONE! She knows who she is...and she's in my thoughts and I'm sending lots of love to her.

On Wednesday, C and I met with my RE. Things went very well. I am positive for the MTHFR mutation, which I knew, I'm homozygous for C766T. I've been on the extra folic acid for a few weeks now, ever since my test came back positive. My second protein S test came back within normal range. My first one was 49, second was 61. The normal range is 60-140. I'm still in the lower end of normal, but my doctor says that is not an issue, normal is normal. He said that he thinks the MTHFR is what caused our loss. It was crushing to hear him actually say that. In some ways it's relieving...an answer. In some ways I go back to feeling responsible. And now, the plan. I had no idea how he would come at this, and I've been doing a ton of research on the options. Having lost Wyatt at 26 weeks, I wanted to make sure that we did everything we could to make sure this next pregnancy was successful. He started telling me about the folic acid and how it is the usual course of action in this case and this helps to fix the problems which are the fact that I don't metabolize folic acid and the fact that with this mutation I am more prone to clotting. And of course as we all know, pregnancy makes us more prone to clotting anyway. He was starting to mention options and I cut him off...the whole thing was taking too long and I was so anxious to ask my questions. I asked about the taking the baby asprin, and he told me that he doesn't think that really does anything. Then I asked about the Lovenox and he said that was what he would use. He was very careful. He told me that he wasn't telling me this was something that I had to do, that there were no real studies that had been done thst say this is necessary. They always seem to use that, because obviously they don't do studies on pregnant people. Have them test one thing or another...that would be very unethical, obviously. Like I said before, I've read a ton about this. Things that doctors have written, supporting both sides and things that everyday woman have written. In my mind there is NO way that I'm not going to do everything that I can to have a healthy pregnancy that results in a healthy baby. I would take a damn beating everyday for god sakes. The bruises that the doctor says are inevitable and the inconvenience of having to take a shot everyday are NOTHING to me. So he agreed that although he would not recommend this as a course of treatment if I had not had a loss, but for some reason they knew I had MTHFR, he thinks in our case it is a good idea. He was very careful with his words, as doctors usually are, but he fully supports my decision to definitely do the Lovenox when I get a positive pregnancy test (notice I said "when").

Soooo....my appointment was on day 12 of my cycle, and although the doctor says we can go forward right away, we have to wait for insurance approval. She submitted it on Thursday with urgent. We may or may not get approval in time. I would have to start the Lupron on Friday the 15th... If not this cycle then next is just fine with me. We're moving forward!!! I am so excited now. I know there are a ton more hurdles until I'm pregnant again, but this is the right road.