Today was a better day. I think a combination of the stress and that damn progesterone are making me all wacky. I did cry a few times today, but not quite as hysterically, and let's face it, normally I'm a cryer anyway! I got out and ran some errands this morning and I'm chasing around lawyers to get this lease drawn up for our new tenant. I'm a gardener with my own business and this is, fortunately, my usual "winter break". I do have one job that I do all winter, but that's just Friday mornings. I bring a lot of their plants inside and they're out of the country for the winter. It's just me and the housekeeper. Yes, they have a housekeeper who works all winter even though there's no one there! And, no, she doesn't have time to water the plants. Too funny, huh?
I've decided to write a letter to the person I have been feeling hurt by. For me, I think it's the only way for me to really get it off my chest. I have no intentions of being mean, I want them to know how much I love them, and how important they are to me. I think that when some people feel guilt it comes out in other ways. Some people just have no idea how to deal with the fact that Wyatt died. And then some people really surprise me, they want to talk about him, and they seem to be genuinely worried about me and C. So, tomorrow, I'm going to write this person a letter.
Ok, so I have been trying really hard not to analyze any symptoms. But, I mean really, it's nearly impossible not to be focused on every little twinge! I really can't compare to last time because of the hospital experience. I have of course been obsessively googling. Yesterday, I had some twinges in my uterus, they were pretty strong. They went away and then I had some AF like cramps last night in bed. And all day I've had some aching in my uterus. Along with the sore boobies, the wave of nausea from today, and the exhaustion. These could be good signs? And would be pregnancy signs if...if...if I weren't on that darn progesterone that gives you all these symptoms.